bcachefs: bch2_bkey_get_mut() improvements

bcachefs: bch2_bkey_get_mut() improvements

 - bch2_bkey_get_mut() now handles types increasing in size, allocating
   a buffer for the type's current size when necessary
 - bch2_bkey_make_mut_typed()
 - bch2_bkey_get_mut() now initializes the iterator, like
   bch2_bkey_get_iter()

Also, refactor so that most of the code is in functions - now macros are
only used for wrappers.

Signed-off-by: Kent Overstreet <kent.overstreet@linux.dev>